Once upon a time I almost fell out of a BlackHawk at 200 feet working the internal hoist.

I once jumped through a rain cloud over Greensburg, Indiana from 12 thousand feet.

I once went SCUBA diving every chance I could get.

I once “killed” 6 dismounted infantry soldiers who were on the top of a hill during a battle at the National Training Center…..from the door of a Huey with an AK-47 (MILES Gear).

I moved across the country not once, but 3 times to places I was unsure of, to futures that I could only guess about.

I once responded to 911 calls in Compton, California.

I once was given the call sign, “Crazy Girl” by an F-16 pilot out of affection and admiration for my adventurous spirit.

I need to find that spirit again.

Being a glorified case manager with prescriptive authority in a very large, but very small town isn’t where I belong.

I am indeed paving the way for NPs in my institution, but the politics, red tape, and non-sense is too much. Yes, indeed, there is bureaucracy everywhere, especially at the levels I intend to work at, but the red tape I should be cutting surrounds countries, not midwest hospitals who believe they are better than they really are.

I miss the time when my patients were soldiers, injured training to defend this country.

My path has hit a dead end.

Crazy Girl needs to be resurrected and I need to move in a bigger, more adventurous direction where my impact is the size of a crater, not a pot hole.

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  1. I can’t imagine what kind of crap I’m gonna have to go through to clear whatever red tape I’ll encounter. Sounds like hell.. Maybe you need a sabbatical to a place where patients truly appreciate your help? Maybe work an ER for some excitement? I’m pretty burned out myself and am plugging away at the homework for school. Can’t wait until it’s over! Hang in there! You’re an inspiration to the rest of us!!