My Vicodin Stash -or- Why I could never be Heath Ledger

As many people who have ever had a medical procedure done, or sustained some sort of injury, I have an emergency Vicodin stash.

You know the one.

That “dispense 30” that still has 25 left and expired over a year ago. The little bottle you can’t bear to throw away, “just in case.” The one that collects dust in the medicine cabinet for that day when you hurt so badly you cannot stand it.

Well, today was one of those days. I will spare you the details, but my bum foot flared up with a vengeance. I spent the majority of the day limping around, seriously considering strapping on my walking cast, or emergency amputation with a Buck knife. I finally relented and popped one of those saved, less than potent, pain pills.

As the mini narcotic high began easing the pain in my foot and hip (from limping around) I began to wonder how in the heck Heath Ledger could have even thought taking all of those meds together was okay. The MSM stated that there should be better patient medication education.

SERIOUSLY! One freekin’ Vicodin and I am toast!

He had reportedly taken oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam and doxylamine. Too many -dones and -pams.

Yes, what happened was a tragedy, but if this guy was just some schmuck off the street, we would all be shaking our heads and talking about how stupid he was. We wouldn’t be telling health care providers to teach better, we would be trying to figure out who the hell prescribed them all to him and how many pharmacies it took to fill them.

So, as the nausea from my one little emergency pill ruins any happiness from the opioid high I may have enjoyed, I just have one, much more important question.

Where is my emergency stash of Zofran?